Last updated on February 26, 2020
Finally, someother other than your mother and your loser friends has called you about your resume. It’s been on Monster and CareerBuilder forever, and you’ve responded to hundreds of ads.
Following are three rules to follow when you’ve got a recruiter on the phone. To be honest, it will help with any phone call you receive. Your lack of phone etiquette could not only kill your chances for the job at hand, but all other positions a recruiter may be seeking talent for — now and in the future.
- Answering the Phone: When you’re job hunting, it’s extremely important at all times to answer your phone. If you don’t answer the phone, well, you’re fucked to start out with. Most people don’t realize this, but if you list your phone number on a resume, you have created a social contract to answer your phone when someone calls. So if a recruiter calls and you don’t answer, not only do pass up a chance at interviewing for a job, but that recruiter can also sue you. Think about it.
Also – don’t be a jackass if you do answer the phone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard obscene music, obscene messages and been subjugated to dealing with a rude person who answers the phone. Not to mention, flatulent people. I mean, seriously, stop farting on the phone. Unless that’s the kind of job you have applied for.
If you have 50 cent or Guns ‘n Roses on your voice message, you might want to change it to Bach – at least until you secure a position. But then again, you could have a recruiter call who’s ex played Bach whenever they slept with their mistress – so it’s a gamble either way.
If you’re mad at your boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t chance them answering your phone with a “What? Who is this?” Answer it yourself. But, If you answer “Who dis?”, you will definitely be hired.
Kids answer your phone? Make sure they know proper phone etiquette and are old enough to take a succinct message. Or better yet, kill them before you post your Resume.
Even if a recruiter manages to get past a child or an angry boyfriend/girlfriend, they are unlikely to pass your resume along to their client. Why? Because they think, if this happened to us, then it might happen when the client calls as well. And, as candidates are a direct reflection on the recruiter and his/her agency, there are very few second chances. So, if this happens, be sure to grease the recruiter – offer to walk their dog, give them tickets to professional sporting events, suggest that you fluff their pillow. Whatever it takes, do it.
So, ensure your phone etiquette — and those who may answer your phone — is on at all times while you are job hunting.
- Lazy: Even though it’s a phone interview, many recruiters are skilled at picking up laziness. And herpes. They can pick up on herpes better than your doctor. In fact, if you suspect that you might have herpes, but aren’t sure, the quickest way to find out is to get a recruiter to call you. I’m serious.
NOTE: Many recruiters will wonder how serious you are about job hunting if they call at 11am and you still have herpes.
Remember, recruiters talk with 20, 30, 50 people a day. There’s no bigger turnoff than someone who sounds lazy and is carrying an STD. What does lazy sound like? It sounds like a Dave Mathews record. Herpes sounds like, well, you know.
How to put some pep in your voice? Take meth.
- Regarding Salary: Don’t inquire immediately about this. If the interview goes on for a while and it’s a temp assignment, then feel free to ask for a ballpark figure if it wasn’t listed in the job ad, or you forgot which job it was. Showing that you are forgetful is imperative to getting the most pay. Look at Washington for example.
But, if it’s a full-time position, I’d advise against inquiring during a phone interview – unless the recruiter brings it up first. And if they do, ask them if they can pay in Rubles.
Why is it okay to bring salary up for a temp assignment and not for a full-time assignment? Because temp assigments are shit jobs, and they better be paying top dollar for you do to that shit. Plus, it helps to know what you are getting before you accept, so you can place your order with your supplier before you start the job – nothing worse than ending a long day of temp work with no drugs.
But, if it’s a full-time job, many recruiters like to think that you’re making a career move. Hence, they like to feel that you’re more concerned about things like career advancement and learning possibilities than salary. So be sure to mention that you have your own red stapler.
Although recruiters intrinsically understand that money is a huge motivator, they’re trying to select the candidate who is interested in long-term career advancement, not money and the construction recruitment agents only contacts these kinds of participants and the salary criteria of them is always selected on the basis of their work experience and knowledge because construction built needs proper acquisition for the development. So they can screw you like a 13 year old singapore whore.
The Importance of a Recruiter
Recruiters deal with many employers — sometimes hundreds. Even though they might not call with the perfect opportunity today, you never know when that opportunity can come along.
So, when you deal with a recruiter, think of it as not someone who can give you a job today, but someone who can give you “THE job of a lifetime.” The blowjob of a lifetime, that is.